This is not a post about weight loss or the obesity epidemic. No diet tips here or judgments about health.

Today’s marketing message, however, is about how your customers see themselves, and why you must see through their eyes.

As I was preparing for yet another conference (my third in six weeks), I downloaded the photos from my last trip (the Covert Communications seminar in Vegas).

Because I hate having my photo taken, most of the shots were of Vegas landmarks, friends, and marketing “celebrities.”

Eiffel Tower Restaurant on the Las Vegas Strip

Fellow copywriter and friend Anthony Coyne and me dining at the Eiffer Tower Restaurant

Copywriters David Deutch & Leah Carson (with persuasion expert Kenrick Cleveland behind David)

But there were a few obligatory photos of me, alone and with friends.

Since the time I was a young kid, I’ve always hated having my photo taken because smiling for the camera tends to make my face look fat and a little goofy. There, I said it, I’m vain. Don’t let anyone tell you only women care about their looks.

I’ll admit something a little embarrassing, too. I practice smiling in the bathroom mirror, trying to find the right smile that looks good on me.

Of course, I promptly forget what that “perfect” smile feels like when the camera’s aimed at my mug.

Yep, I hate photos of me. (The one at the top of my blog was taken a year ago by my wife Kris, who’s an artist. I trust her to take a good pic of me.)

But these photos from Vegas shocked me. They were the first ones taken of me in months that I’ve seen.

Copywriter and friend “Million Dollar Mike” Morgan and me in Vegas

How did I get so fat? And not just my face. The rest of me, too!

I turned to my wife Kris, going over the photos with me, and asked, “The camera always makes me look fatter, doesn’t it?”

“Uh, no. That’s how you normally look.”

Damn!

There were shots of me in semi-casual slacks and button down shirts and others with me in shorts and summer shirts.

And I’m fat in nearly all of them.

When did that happen?

My mental image of myself was of a guy who (when dressed, at least) appears relatively fit and almost slim in slacks and a shirt—and who looks young for his age (I’m 42).

The photos show a guy approaching middle age who looks more like my father.

I’m not turning into my father! I’m supposed to be youthful and fit.

Turn off the camera and give me back my delusions!

So, I’m back on my low carb diet and setting an appointment to tour the local gym. Being a desk jockey simply doesn’t burn enough calories.

The point, however, is how perception often conflicts with reality.

Consider the age-old question a woman may ask her husband or boyfriend, “Do these pants make my butt look fat?” It doesn’t matter whether her posterior is the model of perfection, the real issue is what she believes about it. (And guys, the answer to her question is always, “No, they’re perfect on you.” Unless, of course, they make her butt look like it needs its own ZIP code. In that case, you’re on your own.)

For a marketer, the first question should be, “Does she think most pants make her butt look fat?” If so, the smart marketer would emphasize how their pants are cut to slim and flatter her derriere.

As marketers, we sell to accommodate what people believe about themselves and the world around them. Never forget that emotion is the driving force behind most sales.

And to do that, you need to look at the world and your prospects through their eyes, not yours.

Dig deep and listen to what they say, learn what they truly believe.

That’s the key to finding their reasons for buying.

Popularity: 84% [?]

My Spring seminar schedule is insane. I have three seminars/conferences in six weeks. Sometimes I think my real business is attending seminars, with a little work sprinkled in between.

As of today’s writing, I’ve finished two seminars with one more to go.

So why do I do it?

Three reasons, really.

First, I go to learn. Good seminars keep you on the cutting edge of your business. Sure, you can follow along on the Internet, but some experts (I detest the word “guru”) reserve their best stuff for live events. Also, you can pick up some amazing tips and info from fellow attendees.

Second, I go for the networking. There is no substitute for face-to-face contact at live events. It’s how I meet future clients and potential joint venture (JV) partners. Along the way I’ve made friends, with whom I share leads and information.

Lastly, I go to meet the experts. Live events are often the only way to get on an expert’s radar. And the best events encourage mixing between attendees and the luminaries in your field.

That’s the topic of this post—how to properly engage an expert at an event.

Yes, there are definitely right and wrong ways to do it. And I witnessed both over the past several weeks.

I’ll start with the wrong way first.

At Ken McCarthy’s System Seminar in Chicago (April 27-29) we had a networking session on Friday evening, after the seminar opening assembly.

Most of the speakers for the weekend were present at the session, including John Carlton, “the most ripped off copywriter on the Web.” John’s one of the top copywriters working today and an amazing teacher of copywriting and marketing.

Which makes him a target at live events. I know John, so I’m aware that he hates being cornered by overly enthusiastic fans who want to pick his brain.

And that’s exactly what happened.

Three of us clustered around John, talking with him. I like listening to John talk, so I stood to the side and mostly observed, occasionally interjecting a comment when appropriate.

But one young man who had an online store decided he really wanted John’s advice on how to increase his sales. So he hammered John with one question after another, not catching on when John’s body language broadcasted that he had had enough.

Finally, in exasperation, John pointed to me and told the young man, “Ask Karl, he can answer all your questions,” and promptly made his escape.

With John gone, the kid turned to me and continued his barrage of questions.

So what did the kid do wrong?

Two big mistakes: One, he forgot about networking rule #1, which is to always make the interaction about the other person, not you and your problems. Two, he was hunting for free help.

When you meet a person for the first time (experts included) and want them to enjoy talking with you, always give them permission to talk about themselves and their interests.

Experts are people, too, not information machines. They get tired from traveling and many become psychically exhausted from the rigors of teaching and presenting—from being “on” constantly.

If you make an effort to keep your conversation pleasant for them, they’re more likely to talk with you longer.

Always remember to let them go if they show signs of wanting to end the conversation and move on. And never shove your business card at them unless they ask for one.

The second mistake the kid made was assuming he had the right to demand free marketing help from John.

John Carlton charges $1250 for a one-hour phone consultation. And for a business ready to take advantage of his expertise, it’s like buying $100 bills for less than buck a piece.

But this kid wanted John to solve all his business and marketing problems for free, right there during the networking session!

Keep that in mind next time you want to pump an expert for information.

At my second seminar of the Spring season, Covert Communications (a learning event hosted by Harlan Kilstein and Dr. Chris Tomasulo on May 19 & 20), I participated in a textbook-perfect interaction with an expert.

The expert was Parris Lampropolis, an A-list copywriter who has written for most (if not all) of the major direct mail publishers, like Agora, Boardroom, Rodale, Philips, etc.

The place: The bar in the Platinum Hotel and Spa. For those who don’t know, the hotel bar is the networking hotspot of any live event. Even if you don’t drink, stick a club soda in your hand and mingle. It’s often worth the price of the event all by itself.

One of my friends, copywriter and women’s marketing authority Leah Carson, walked over and sat down at the table I shared with Parris and a few other copywriters.

Rather than launch into what she was doing and hit up Parris for his copywriting overflow, Leah asked Paris how he broke into writing for the big publishers.

Parris then proceeded to tell us his war stories and share tips about working with these high-end clients. Fascinating stuff, and he clearly enjoyed talking about his early experience in the business.

Over the next few nights of the event, we developed a relationship with Parris (as well as with other luminaries like copywriter David Deutch and persuasion expert Kenrick Cleveland).

The key was treat them with respect.

And do you want to know another secret about successful networking at seminars?

Treat the newbies you meet with respect, too. Aside from practicing good karma, you’d be amazed who and what a newbie might know.

And you never know which newbie might become the next expert.

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My wife Kris brought up an interesting subject this morning at breakfast.

It’s about photography, but very relevant to copywriting and marketing.

I’m an amateur photographer who’s sold a few photos and won several contests. I love the creative aspect of producing a photo that wows people, but I also like the cool technology. I’m a guy, sue me.

Kris was paging through my most recent issue of Popular Photography magazine and had stopped at a column called, “The Fix.” This column critiques photos sent in by readers and offers suggestions and examples of how to improve or “fix” them.

All of the improvements involve using Adobe Photoshop or a similar photo editor.

Kris is an illustrator, so she has a great sense of composition and color. Naturally, she was studying the columnists’ recommendations.

“Take a look at this,” she said to me, handing over the open magazine.

I looked at the page. The photo under scrutiny was an early evening beach scene with lifeguard station and several groups of people. A couple at the right of the photo sat in beach chairs looking out on the ocean, while another group was walking toward the camera, as if packed up and heading home. The people walking home had their legs cut off at the knees by a low foreground dune.

Overall, the photo was somewhat muddy and dull. Contrast was poor and it didn’t pop.

But it had potential.

Here’s what the experts suggested:

1. Crop the photo to drop the horizon from the center to the bottom third of the photo. Composing by thirds is a classic composition technique and makes perfect sense. Cropping is a basic strategy that can instantly improve many photos. It’s been around since the invention of photography.
2. Increase the brightness and contrast to make the photo pop, eliminating the bland dullness. Again, a solid suggestion, and one that was used even in the days of film.
3. Redden the sky for drama. The photo definitely looks better. Before digital photography, you needed to use a filter on the camera when you took the shot, or you needed to do some advanced darkroom work to achieve this effect.
4. Remove the extra people from the scene, leaving only the couple in the beach chairs. Now we’ve entered the realm of digital editing. In the old days, you needed to airbrush unwanted subjects from a photo, a time-consuming and costly process. Today, it’s a few minutes with the clone tool in Photoshop.

Before digital imaging, most photographers relied on their technical and artistic skill, patience, and even luck to capture the perfect photo. Cost and technology limitations made modification of photos a far less common event. For this reason, some people feel that film-based photography is more “honest.”

The second photo in the column was of a young horse with its mother. The experts digitally removed the mother and a distracting fence post from the photo.

My wife asked, “Is this right? After all these changes, is it really the same photo?”

Good question.

As a photographer, I don’t have an easy answer.

Have I edited and “improved” photos using my digital arsenal of tools?

Yes.

Here’s a photo of a Luna moth caterpillar on a tomato leaf I shot a few summers ago. I “improved” it with Photoshop.

The photo on the left is the original, as it came from the camera. Notice the small tear on the tomato leaf. To improve this photo, I healed the leaf tear in Photoshop, slightly adjusted the brightness, added a little yellow to “warm” the photo, and sharpened it.

The resulting image took first place in a local contest.

The question is: Was I being dishonest by altering my photo?

Most photographers today would say “no.” The changes I made were only minor improvements.

But there’s one other aspect to this photo I haven’t mentioned.

I posed the caterpillar.

I picked it off a different part of the plant and set on a leaf that had the background I wanted, at an angle with ideal natural sunlight.

So, from a purist perspective, I created the photo from the very start.

And I’m not alone.

There’s a famous photo of a leopard reclining on a tree branch on the African savannah. Shot decades ago, this photo is truly an amazing shot.

What you probably didn’t know is that the leopard was not a wild cat, caught surreptitiously lounging in a tree, sleeping off its latest meal.

Nope, this cat was a ringer, a trained leopard brought in and posed for the photo. It was even wearing a leash and collar. The collar was hidden by the angle of the cat’s head, while the leash was concealed behind the cat’s body and the branch.

The result: An inspiring photo loved by thousands of people. It graced the covers of magazine and books.

Did the photographer “lie” by staging his photo?

It all depends.

If he tried to pass off his photo as a genuine shot of a wild leopard, then yes, he lied.

But if his goal was to create a beautiful image that captured the grace of a magnificent animal against an imposing landscape, then he and his photo are honest.

For most photographers, their ultimate goal is the emotional response of the audience. It’s not about what’s in the photo, but what it does to you.

So how the heck does this relate to marketing and copywriting?

When you sell a product or service, whether yours or a client’s, you must position it in the best light and in a way that appeals to your customer.

Sometimes this means getting “creative” with how you present the offering.

Draw out the benefits most appealing to your target market. Brighten them, make them pop in your customer’s eyes. You’re goal is to create desire for the offering, make your customers crave what you have to sell.

And you can’t do that with a bare-bones, just-the-facts approach.

To stay with our metaphor of photography, let’s look at selling a digital camera.

If a manufacturer like Canon (the system I shoot) tries to sell a new $3000 digital SLR as a “camera that takes really good pictures,” do you think anyone will buy it?

Now, what if they target their audience?

Canon’s not focusing on the customer who wants a camera for family snapshots at Disney World. There are plenty of compact point-and-shoot pocket cameras that will do a great job for less than $300.

Canon knows that serious amateur photographers take pride in having the latest and best digital camera equipment they can afford. Ego is tied up with camera ownership. Having the newest and best camera gives you bragging rights among fellow photographers.

Watch and listen when the next time two photographers get together. They usually don’t start by showing photos. They compare equipment. For guys, it’s very much a case of, “mine’s bigger than yours.”

I’ve been there myself. A typical conversation would go like this:

“Hey John, it that the new 5D?”

John holds up his $3000 Canon digital SLR, beaming like a proud papa. “Yep, picked it up last week.”

“Sweet! How do you like it?”

“It’s awesome,” John says, caressing his camera. He’s not about to hand it over to me. “I’ve taken about 200 shots so far. Blows away my old 20D. The resolution is amazing. And it’s FAST! Great autofocus. Doesn’t hunt in low light like the 20D.”

“Very nice. I was thinking of getting one, but I’m good with my 30D for now. I want to see what Canon comes out with this fall. But you have to see this new 100mm macro lens I picked up. f-2.8, and it’s tack sharp!”

And so it goes.

Yes, you better believe that photography enthusiasts suffer from “camera envy.”

That means frequent camera upgrades, something camera manufacturers count on.

So, instead of an ad touting their new camera as “taking really good pictures,” Canon might run ads that describe how this camera gives you all the features and capabilities of their $8000 model used by the world’s top professional photographers—the model that serious amateurs drool over. Then the ad would list the top, most desirable features and specs.

Now, before you yell at me for talking about features over benefits, keep in mind the market.

In some markets, plenty of advanced features ARE benefits. Advanced photography is one of those markets.

The implication, conveyed in the copy, is that all these advanced features will allow you to take mind-boggling, impressive, professional photos.

But smart marketing will also tease you with the promise of having the best camera on the market, so your fellow photographers will be envious of you.

To tie it together, you need to understand your market and present them with your product or service in a way that’s most appealing. And like a good photo, your offer must trigger the desired emotional response from your customer.

You never lie, but you offer the version of “reality” that drives your customers to buy.

As long as you don’t misrepresent your product or service, you can and should adjust and tweak your ads to present exactly the picture your customer needs and wants to see.

As a marketer, that’s your job.

Till next time.

Popularity: 100% [?]