My new website EmailMarketingMentor.com is now open, with fresh content posted several times per week.

Unlike this blog (Karl-Barndt.com) which never had a real focus, my new site will explore email marketing and provide practical news, tips, tutorials, and videos to help businesses profit from adding email to their marketing mix.

Karl-Barndt.com will still be here, but I will likely revamp the site to become more of a personal blog and less of a business resource.

So head over to EmailMarketingMentor.com now and sign up for the mailing list.

As an incentive for subscribing, I’ll be giving away my new email marketing basics e-course — Email Marketing 101. The only cost is your email address.

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This is not a post about weight loss or the obesity epidemic. No diet tips here or judgments about health.

Today’s marketing message, however, is about how your customers see themselves, and why you must see through their eyes.

As I was preparing for yet another conference (my third in six weeks), I downloaded the photos from my last trip (the Covert Communications seminar in Vegas).

Because I hate having my photo taken, most of the shots were of Vegas landmarks, friends, and marketing “celebrities.”

Eiffel Tower Restaurant on the Las Vegas Strip

Fellow copywriter and friend Anthony Coyne and me dining at the Eiffer Tower Restaurant

Copywriters David Deutch & Leah Carson (with persuasion expert Kenrick Cleveland behind David)

But there were a few obligatory photos of me, alone and with friends.

Since the time I was a young kid, I’ve always hated having my photo taken because smiling for the camera tends to make my face look fat and a little goofy. There, I said it, I’m vain. Don’t let anyone tell you only women care about their looks.

I’ll admit something a little embarrassing, too. I practice smiling in the bathroom mirror, trying to find the right smile that looks good on me.

Of course, I promptly forget what that “perfect” smile feels like when the camera’s aimed at my mug.

Yep, I hate photos of me. (The one at the top of my blog was taken a year ago by my wife Kris, who’s an artist. I trust her to take a good pic of me.)

But these photos from Vegas shocked me. They were the first ones taken of me in months that I’ve seen.

Copywriter and friend “Million Dollar Mike” Morgan and me in Vegas

How did I get so fat? And not just my face. The rest of me, too!

I turned to my wife Kris, going over the photos with me, and asked, “The camera always makes me look fatter, doesn’t it?”

“Uh, no. That’s how you normally look.”

Damn!

There were shots of me in semi-casual slacks and button down shirts and others with me in shorts and summer shirts.

And I’m fat in nearly all of them.

When did that happen?

My mental image of myself was of a guy who (when dressed, at least) appears relatively fit and almost slim in slacks and a shirt—and who looks young for his age (I’m 42).

The photos show a guy approaching middle age who looks more like my father.

I’m not turning into my father! I’m supposed to be youthful and fit.

Turn off the camera and give me back my delusions!

So, I’m back on my low carb diet and setting an appointment to tour the local gym. Being a desk jockey simply doesn’t burn enough calories.

The point, however, is how perception often conflicts with reality.

Consider the age-old question a woman may ask her husband or boyfriend, “Do these pants make my butt look fat?” It doesn’t matter whether her posterior is the model of perfection, the real issue is what she believes about it. (And guys, the answer to her question is always, “No, they’re perfect on you.” Unless, of course, they make her butt look like it needs its own ZIP code. In that case, you’re on your own.)

For a marketer, the first question should be, “Does she think most pants make her butt look fat?” If so, the smart marketer would emphasize how their pants are cut to slim and flatter her derriere.

As marketers, we sell to accommodate what people believe about themselves and the world around them. Never forget that emotion is the driving force behind most sales.

And to do that, you need to look at the world and your prospects through their eyes, not yours.

Dig deep and listen to what they say, learn what they truly believe.

That’s the key to finding their reasons for buying.

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